7.28.2008
Update 7/28/08
I have, at this point, gone through my old Word document and transferred all the MST3K references I'd written all those long, lonely winters ago (in Siberia...part of the labors of gulag). But don't become disheartened! For since then I've seen multitudes of episodes and can now start transcribing those as well! Isn't that great?! Won't this be an enjoyable experience for all of us?! Aren't you just shivering in anticipation?!
"Once Upon a Honeymoon"
(the wife is singing in the living room)
Mike (singing): I think owning a newspaper would be fun…
This rather odd remark is actually a line from Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane, which is considered by most film geeks to be the Best Movie Ever. But whatever you do, don’t ever, ever ask why, lest you incur hours of technical jargon/crap from pale guys who wear rectangle-framed glasses and Star Wars vintage T-shirts. Yeah, perhaps I’m being a little harsh, but I think Citizen Kane is slightly overrated. That isn’t to say that I don’t like the movie, because I do. But it isn’t God’s Gift to Movie Audiences. I don’t think any movie is. In any case, the title character (played by Orson Welles, natch) writes this to his benefactor, which really pisses him off, because young Charles Foster Kane doesn’t take anything seriously (as witnessed by the line itself). It’s kind of similar to Peter O’Toole’s line in Lawrence of Arabia (in reference to his trek across the desert), “It will be fun.” I think Lawrence of Arabia is a better film than Citizen Kane, and if I were a film student, I might explain why, and I might just point out the similarities between the two movies, but I’m not a film student, and it’s my day off, god damn it [pissed off at her computer, which is continually breaking down today…]
Mike (singing): I think owning a newspaper would be fun…
This rather odd remark is actually a line from Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane, which is considered by most film geeks to be the Best Movie Ever. But whatever you do, don’t ever, ever ask why, lest you incur hours of technical jargon/crap from pale guys who wear rectangle-framed glasses and Star Wars vintage T-shirts. Yeah, perhaps I’m being a little harsh, but I think Citizen Kane is slightly overrated. That isn’t to say that I don’t like the movie, because I do. But it isn’t God’s Gift to Movie Audiences. I don’t think any movie is. In any case, the title character (played by Orson Welles, natch) writes this to his benefactor, which really pisses him off, because young Charles Foster Kane doesn’t take anything seriously (as witnessed by the line itself). It’s kind of similar to Peter O’Toole’s line in Lawrence of Arabia (in reference to his trek across the desert), “It will be fun.” I think Lawrence of Arabia is a better film than Citizen Kane, and if I were a film student, I might explain why, and I might just point out the similarities between the two movies, but I’m not a film student, and it’s my day off, god damn it [pissed off at her computer, which is continually breaking down today…]
"Cheating"
(The Cheater’s teacher reads the note he’d passed during the test)
Crow: I smell a big fat commie rat.
May or may not be a film reference per sé, but George C. Scott said the exact same line in Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. He was arguably the best part of the movie, although Peter Sellers usually gets all the glory, for playing three different roles. But Scott is so good (and underplays his part so well, depending mostly on facial expressions) that I usually can’t watch any of his films without being reminded of Dr. Strangelove, thereby laughing for no apparent reason.
Crow: I smell a big fat commie rat.
May or may not be a film reference per sé, but George C. Scott said the exact same line in Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. He was arguably the best part of the movie, although Peter Sellers usually gets all the glory, for playing three different roles. But Scott is so good (and underplays his part so well, depending mostly on facial expressions) that I usually can’t watch any of his films without being reminded of Dr. Strangelove, thereby laughing for no apparent reason.
"Body Care and Grooming"
(the li’l girl is zipping around in front of her mirror)
Tom: Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
This is one of Rex Harrison’s starting lines of "Hymn to Him”, from My Fair Lady. A starting line is one of those spoken lines that introduces a song—like in “Leader of the Pack”, you hear a girl ask “Gee, Suzy, what’s wrong?” and Suzy says something like, “Well, let me tell ya’ all about it” and then proceeds to sing about how her boyfriend died (“Look out look out look out—Vrooom—Leader of the pack!”—watch The Brain That Wouldn’t Die to understand). Um, anyway—you may or may not notice that Rex Harrison never really sings his lines; he more or less talks them, or growls them. This was the preferred method of singing by non-musical actors who found themselves in Broadway shows. Richard Burton did the same thing when he starred in Camelot as King Arthur. Now, in most movie musicals, the singing is done fairly well on the set, but the actor will go back to the studio, sing the song again to provide a better sound recording, and the studio version will be dubbed into the film. But, because Rex Harrison talked his lines very quickly, it was impossible to get the sound in sync with his lips. So the studio designed one of the first mikes used in musicals—it was nearly invisible, and clipped onto his suit, I believe. So there you have it.
(As the li’l boy is taking a shower, Mike and the ‘bots make violin noises.)
The famous shower scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Yep.
Tom: Why can’t a woman be more like a man?
This is one of Rex Harrison’s starting lines of "Hymn to Him”, from My Fair Lady. A starting line is one of those spoken lines that introduces a song—like in “Leader of the Pack”, you hear a girl ask “Gee, Suzy, what’s wrong?” and Suzy says something like, “Well, let me tell ya’ all about it” and then proceeds to sing about how her boyfriend died (“Look out look out look out—Vrooom—Leader of the pack!”—watch The Brain That Wouldn’t Die to understand). Um, anyway—you may or may not notice that Rex Harrison never really sings his lines; he more or less talks them, or growls them. This was the preferred method of singing by non-musical actors who found themselves in Broadway shows. Richard Burton did the same thing when he starred in Camelot as King Arthur. Now, in most movie musicals, the singing is done fairly well on the set, but the actor will go back to the studio, sing the song again to provide a better sound recording, and the studio version will be dubbed into the film. But, because Rex Harrison talked his lines very quickly, it was impossible to get the sound in sync with his lips. So the studio designed one of the first mikes used in musicals—it was nearly invisible, and clipped onto his suit, I believe. So there you have it.
(As the li’l boy is taking a shower, Mike and the ‘bots make violin noises.)
The famous shower scene from Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Yep.
"Robot Rumpus"
Tom: Oh God, they hung his head! This is worse than Seven!
Seven was indeed disgusting, as it had a series of grotesque (human) deaths corresponding with the seven deadly sins—a man is forced to eat until his stomach explodes (gluttony), a lawyer is forced to cut off a pound of his own flesh (greed), a man is tied to his bed and slowly wastes away (sloth)…and it just goes on from there. As gory as it may sound, this is not your usual Vincent Price movie (not that Price’s movies are bad—I can’t go into a hair salon without thinking of Theatre of Blood); it stars Brad Pitt and the always-good Morgan Freeman as detectives who hunt down the man who orchestrates all these murders. Although he wasn’t credited as the killer when the movie was released, it’s common knowledge that the killer was played by Kevin Spacey (he won an MTV movie award for it). There is a disembodied head involved in the film, but I won’t spoil it for you.
Seven was indeed disgusting, as it had a series of grotesque (human) deaths corresponding with the seven deadly sins—a man is forced to eat until his stomach explodes (gluttony), a lawyer is forced to cut off a pound of his own flesh (greed), a man is tied to his bed and slowly wastes away (sloth)…and it just goes on from there. As gory as it may sound, this is not your usual Vincent Price movie (not that Price’s movies are bad—I can’t go into a hair salon without thinking of Theatre of Blood); it stars Brad Pitt and the always-good Morgan Freeman as detectives who hunt down the man who orchestrates all these murders. Although he wasn’t credited as the killer when the movie was released, it’s common knowledge that the killer was played by Kevin Spacey (he won an MTV movie award for it). There is a disembodied head involved in the film, but I won’t spoil it for you.
6.28.2008
Update 6/28/08
No, I have not forgotten about this blog. I've actually moved (to New York) and am battling a slew of obstacles--really bad Internet connection, little to no access to "MST3K" tapes, and all the other crap that you encounter when you move.
I can promise you some updates in the not-too-distant future, however, including but not limited to:
- photos to accompany each episode entry
- more references
- more episodes
Are you salivating yet? Well? Are ya'?
I can promise you some updates in the not-too-distant future, however, including but not limited to:
- photos to accompany each episode entry
- more references
- more episodes
Are you salivating yet? Well? Are ya'?
5.30.2008
"Here Comes the Circus"
(the lion tamer is whipping a bunch of poor lions)
Joel: John Turturro?
Well, the guy looks like John Turturro. He’s got the hair, the long face—I’m pretty sure he is John Turturro based on the evidence provided. John Turturro is one of the best character actors in the Biz today (along with—in my opinion—William H. Macy, Steve Buscemi, and Joe Vitterelli). He’s usually in a lot of the Coen Brothers’ movies like Raising Arizona and Barton Fink. My favorite would have to be O Brother, Where Art Thou? which is about a trio of fugitives from a chain gang (Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, and George Clooney) who travel the Southern countryside looking for secreted money. It’s worth seeing for the soundtrack alone (the soundtrack topped the charts for a very long time), and to hear George Clooney cry, “Damn! We’re in a tight spot!” several times.
(clowns are boxing)
Joel: It’s a full contact version of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?!
Crow (in a Richard Burton voice): Don’t talk about our clown, Martha.
Wow, another reference to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And a Richard Burton impression thrown in for good measure. Burton’s actual line is something like, “Don’t talk about the kid, that’s all.” The kid being their son, who just turned sixteen and is returning home from…running away? Gee does what I just wrote seem pointless. You’ll see why. Although George (Burton) and Martha (Elizabeth Taylor) seem to like abusing each other verbally, I don’t believe there was actual hitting involved. Actually, Burton might’ve thrown Taylor against a car. Pretty sure that wasn’t in the script though. If you want to hear a really good Richard Burton impression, watch Scrooged; Bill Murray does a great impression in a scene at the homeless shelter.
(lions are growling and standing on their haunches and sticking their paws in the air)
Servo (growling): Stella!
Man, how he did that was funny. He’s imitating the famous scene from…no, not Gone with the Wind but close…Streetcar Named Desire! Yes, that’s it! Ah ha ha ha! Marlon Brando stands at the foot of the steps of his and Kim Hunter’s rather nice New Orleans (or “N’Awlins”) home and yells “Stella!” to make her come down. She does. He does it again at the end of the movie, but this time she doesn’t come down. He keeps yelling. Boy is it funny. Vivien Leigh is in this. As if you didn’t know.
(a woman is being tossed around by elephants)
Joel: Three elephants and a little lady!
Three Men and a Little Lady was the sequel to the somehow-popular Three Men and a Baby, which starred Ted Danson, Tom Selleck, and Steve Guttenberg. I didn’t much care for Three Men and a Baby when it came out, so I definitely didn’t care for its sequel. It bombed, if I remember correctly. The first was about three men who, well, take care of a baby, and one can only assume that the sequel was about three men who took care of the baby-turned-little-girl. Babies have a way of doing that. Not all the time (sometimes they turn into little boys) but sometimes, if biology class taught me anything.
Joel: John Turturro?
Well, the guy looks like John Turturro. He’s got the hair, the long face—I’m pretty sure he is John Turturro based on the evidence provided. John Turturro is one of the best character actors in the Biz today (along with—in my opinion—William H. Macy, Steve Buscemi, and Joe Vitterelli). He’s usually in a lot of the Coen Brothers’ movies like Raising Arizona and Barton Fink. My favorite would have to be O Brother, Where Art Thou? which is about a trio of fugitives from a chain gang (Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, and George Clooney) who travel the Southern countryside looking for secreted money. It’s worth seeing for the soundtrack alone (the soundtrack topped the charts for a very long time), and to hear George Clooney cry, “Damn! We’re in a tight spot!” several times.
(clowns are boxing)
Joel: It’s a full contact version of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?!
Crow (in a Richard Burton voice): Don’t talk about our clown, Martha.
Wow, another reference to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And a Richard Burton impression thrown in for good measure. Burton’s actual line is something like, “Don’t talk about the kid, that’s all.” The kid being their son, who just turned sixteen and is returning home from…running away? Gee does what I just wrote seem pointless. You’ll see why. Although George (Burton) and Martha (Elizabeth Taylor) seem to like abusing each other verbally, I don’t believe there was actual hitting involved. Actually, Burton might’ve thrown Taylor against a car. Pretty sure that wasn’t in the script though. If you want to hear a really good Richard Burton impression, watch Scrooged; Bill Murray does a great impression in a scene at the homeless shelter.
(lions are growling and standing on their haunches and sticking their paws in the air)
Servo (growling): Stella!
Man, how he did that was funny. He’s imitating the famous scene from…no, not Gone with the Wind but close…Streetcar Named Desire! Yes, that’s it! Ah ha ha ha! Marlon Brando stands at the foot of the steps of his and Kim Hunter’s rather nice New Orleans (or “N’Awlins”) home and yells “Stella!” to make her come down. She does. He does it again at the end of the movie, but this time she doesn’t come down. He keeps yelling. Boy is it funny. Vivien Leigh is in this. As if you didn’t know.
(a woman is being tossed around by elephants)
Joel: Three elephants and a little lady!
Three Men and a Little Lady was the sequel to the somehow-popular Three Men and a Baby, which starred Ted Danson, Tom Selleck, and Steve Guttenberg. I didn’t much care for Three Men and a Baby when it came out, so I definitely didn’t care for its sequel. It bombed, if I remember correctly. The first was about three men who, well, take care of a baby, and one can only assume that the sequel was about three men who took care of the baby-turned-little-girl. Babies have a way of doing that. Not all the time (sometimes they turn into little boys) but sometimes, if biology class taught me anything.
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