The Giant Spider Invasion

(the white trash wino woman is looking lovingly at her white trash philandering husband)
Crow: Hi, Hud.

This is, apparently, a reference to the movie Hud, with Paul Newman. Why, exactly, they made the connection between the movies is a little beyond me, save for the fact that the White Trash Husband is wearing the same type of outfit as Paul Newman's Hud wore in the film. Needless to say, Hud is exponentially better than this film--you get Paul Newman as a hot-but-jerky son of a rancher, and Patricia Neal as the maid that Newman kind of likes but can't really express it right...so he ends up trying to rape her...yeah. The last scene between the two is amazing; really well-played by both actors.


(shows a dirty room)
Mike: Oh Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.

This is a line from The Odd Couple, with Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. Walter plays Oscar Madison, a really messy guy, and Jack plays Felix Unger (F.U.), a neat-freak (me and Jack and Walt were buddies, you see, which is why I can call them by their first names. Or maybe their first names are just easier to type…)


(a man walks into a store)
Mike: Well it’s my old boss Mr. Gower!

This is, once again, a line from It’s a Wonderful Life, starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. It’s from early on in the movie, still in the flashback, when George is just about to leave for Europe (he doesn’t get to go, of course. Poor dope) and he gets a huge suitcase with his name on it! It’s from Mr. Gower, his old boss, who beat the crap out of him in a drunken rage when he was a kid! Did I mention that this is an uplifting movie?


(a spider crawls up the Ultimate White Trash Guy’s leg)
Crow: My mission, take out the greasy hick, with extreme prejudice.

That was one of the many famous lines from Apocalypse Now, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Some other great lines are: “I love the smell of napalm in the morning” and “The horror. The horror.” (which was actually a line from Heart of Darkness, which the movie was based on, but I digress). The line Crow referred to was originally spoken by none other than…Harrison Ford! Wow! Yeah, he was in Apocalypse Now for five seconds, named Captain Lucas (like George Lucas, get it?) and wearing glasses. He was also in American Graffiti, which was directed by George Lucas and produced by Francis Ford Coppola. Apocalypse Now, by the by, was the first movie that ever really scared the shit out of me.


(Cigarette-Voice-Laden-Woman and Fat Guy roll on each other)
Tom: The defiant loads.

The Defiant Ones. Sidney Poitier and Tony Curtis. Chained. Together. See what I had to say about it riiiiggghhhtttt…in the Bloodlust section.


Mike: I don’t like this remake of Sabrina.

Sabrina is the classic romantic comedy starring Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, and William Holden. It was directed by Billy Wilder, who was a master of romantic comedies (he made Some Like It Hot and The Seven Year Itch). The filming of Sabrina wasn’t a terribly happy affair—Humphrey Bogart, upset that his wife Lauren Bacall was not cast as Sabrina, took it out on Hepburn, Holden (whom he’d had a tense relationship with in 1939's Invisible Stripes), and Wilder. He and Holden got into a car accident during the filming (it was the result of a stupid dare, I believe) and Bogie was hurt badly enough to require stitches or some such thing. The tension between Bogie and Wilder has been a bit over-dramatized—the fact is that Bogart would needle anyone to the hilt and he did so with Wilder; he called Wilder a Nazi (Wilder was a European immigrant) not knowing that most of Wilder’s Jewish family had been sent to concentration camps during WWII. Bogie was most definitely not anti-Semitic though (as some rumors state), seeing as how both Lauren Bacall and his best friend William Brady were Jewish. By the by, Audrey Hepburn and William Holden actually fell in love during filming Sabrina, but never married due to Holden’s inability to have children.
Oh yeah—Sabrina was remade in the ‘90’s. It starred Julia Ormond in the Hepburn role and Harrison Ford in Bogie’s role. Harrison Ford, in my opinion, is the closest modern actor to come to the personality of Humphrey Bogart. A couple of years ago there was some crazy talk about remaking Casablanca, with Ralph Fiennes in the Victor Lazlo role (um, okay, perhaps…), Harrison Ford in Bogart’s role as Rick, and Julia Roberts in Ingrid Bergman’s Ilsa Lazlo role, to which I say ccccrrraaaapppp. If anything, Isabella Rosselini would be the logical choice, seeing as how she looks just like her mom, and she’s a good actress. But, ultimately, feh.