Phantom Planet

Old Man: We must talk about your future.
Mike: Plastics, Benjamin.

One of the famous lines from Mike Nichols’ The Graduate (wow, is The Graduate becoming the new Gone with the Wind? It’s not? Okay…) See what I had to say about The Graduate in the Prince of Space section.


Old Man: Show him the prisoner…
Mike: Yeah, we’ve got every episode on tape! Great show.

Not a movie reference, but I like the television show so much that I’ll explain it. “The Prisoner” was a British spy show, and the brainchild of Patrick McGoohan, whom you might remember as the creator and star of “Secret Agent” or “Danger Man” (or, you might remember the theme song better—“Secret Agent Man”). “The Prisoner” was about a secret agent (McGoohan, natch) who quits his job and is subsequently imprisoned by the government in a very cool village on an isolated island. We never learn the name of this agent—he’s called Number Six—but in my opinion (and it’s a popular opinion) he’s John Drake, McGoohan’s character from “Danger Man” (reportedly, when asked by the producers if Number Six is Drake, McGoohan replied, “Yes, but we’re going to say it’s not.” McGoohan vehemently denies that Number Six was Drake). This was a really cool show mainly because it was so out there—the Village is a masterpiece in itself; it’s populated by others who had to be sent away because of what they knew. Secondly, we’re never told the whole story of what is going on; even after the last show, you’re left with lots of questions: “Who is Number Six?” “Why did Number Six quit his job so suddenly?” “What’s up with that big bouncing ball?” Unfortunately, the show only lasted for eighteen episodes. Heigh ho. But “The Prisoner” has gone on to become quite a cult classic; it was even spoofed in an episode of “The Simpsons”. I find it to be in the same vein as “The Avengers”: wildly creative and offbeat, but also very chic. Catch it if you can; I don’t think it’s shown on television anymore, but A&E does have every episode on DVD.


Astronaut: Maybe she’s protecting me…
Tom: Henry Fonda.

He does sound like Henry Fonda! He does! Doesn’t look like him, of course. Henry Fonda is considered one of the best American actors ever—he starred in The Grapes of Wrath, The Oxbow Incident, 12 Angry Men, and On Golden Pond, among a lot of other great films. He won several Oscars, and is also the patriarch of one of America’s acting dynasties—he’s the father of Peter and Jane Fonda, and grandfather of Bridget Fonda.


Old Man: You saw what happened to the rock.
Mike: I shtarred in it with Nicholash Cage.

He’s doing an impersonation of Sir Sean Connery, star of The Rock. He’s also James Bond—sure, there have been other James Bonds (namely George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig; not to mention David Niven, but that’s a whole other story), but he was the first, and in my opinion the best. Sean Connery, as everybody knows, is Scottish, as was the James Bond in Ian Fleming’s novels (Moore and Craig, on the other hand, are English; Brosnan is Irish; Dalton is, I think, Welsh; and Lazenby is Australian). Yes, that’s right: James Bond films are based on novels. James Bond was a literary character before he was a film character. Remember that. And pick up On Her Majesty’s Secret Service from the library while you’re at it.


(people are moving those little weapons for that challenge…thing…hell, who knows…)
Crow: Hey, those field goals belong to Al Pacino!

Al Pacino is—according to IMDb—5 foot 6, which is tall compared to, oh say, me—but according to my mother (who is two inches taller than me, and has a better knowledge of the world), is very short compared to most other men. Before you go making fun of him when you see him on the street, just remember that Humphrey Bogart and Frank Sinatra were about 5 foot 8, Peter Lorre was 5 foot 5, and Dustin Hoffman is 5 foot 5 ½. Don’t let them make fun of you, Al—it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.